Restaurant man
No please no
Not tonight please no
Mister can't you go 
Not tonight can't have a scene
 
Roger
What?
 
Restaurant man
Go, please go;
You - hello, sir 
I said, "no"
Important customer
 
Mark
What am i just a blur?
 
Restaurant man
You sit all night you never buy
 
Mark
That's a lie that's a lie
I had a tea the other day
 
Restaurant man
You couldn't pay
 
Mark
Oh yeah
 
Collins
Benjamin coffin iii - here?
 
Restaurant man
Oh no
 
All
Wine and beer!
 
Maureen
The enemy of avenue a
We'll stay
 
restaurant man
Oy vey!
 
Collins
What brings the mogul in his own mind to the life cafe?
 
Benny
I would like to propose a toast
To maureen's noble try
It went well
 
Maureen
Go to hell
 
Benny
Was the yuppie scum stomped
Not counting the homeless
How many tickets weren't comped
 
Roger
Why did muffy-
 
Benny
Alison
 
Roger
Miss the show?
 
Benny
There was a death in the family
If you must know
 
Angel
Who died?
 
Benny
Our akita
 
Benny, mark, angel, collins
Evita
 
Benny
Mimi i'm surprised
A bright and charming girl like you
Hangs out with these slackers
(who don't adhere to deals)
They make fun yet i'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is calcutta
Bohemia is dead
 
Mark
Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes
 
Collins & roger
Dies irae dies illa
Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal v' yitkadash, etc.
 
Mark
Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of mother earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of bethlehem
We raise our glass- you bet your ass to-
La vie boheme
 
All
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
 
Mark
To days of inspiration
Playing hookie, making something out of nothing
The need to express 
To communicate,
To going against the grain, 
Going insane
Going mad
 
To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad
 
To riding your bike,
Midday past the three- piece suits
To fruits to no absolutes 
To absolute- to choice 
To the village voice 
To any passing fad
To being an us-for once-, instead of a them - 
 
All
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
 
Maureen
Is the equipment in a pyramid?
 
Joanne
It is, maureen
 
Maureen
The mixer doesn't have a case
Don't give me that face
 
Mr. grey
Ahhemm
 
Maureen
Hey mister- she's my sister
 
Restaurant man
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls
 
A boy
Ugh
 
Collins
It tastes the same
 
Mimi
If you close your eyes
 
Restaurant man
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?
 
All
Wine and beer!
 
Mimi & angel
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and maya angelou
 
Maureen & collins
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation
 
Mark
Mucho masturbation
 
Maureen & collins
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new
 
Collins
To sontag
 
Angel
To sondheim
 
Four people
To anything taboo
 
Collins & roger
Ginsberg, dylan, cunningham and cage
 
Collins
Lenny bruce
 
Roger
Langston hughes
 
Maureen
To the stage
 
Person #1
To uta
 
Person #2
To buddha
 
Person #3
Pablo neruda, too
 
Mark & mimi
Why dorothy and toto went over the rainbow
To blow off auntie em
 
All
La vie boheme
 
Maureen
And wipe the speakers off before you pack
 
Joanne
Yes, maureen
 
Maureen
Well - hurry back
 
Mr. grey
Sisters?
 
Maureen
We're close
 
Angel, collins, maureen, mark, mr. grey
Brothers!
 
Mark, angel, mimi & three others
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, pee wee herman
German wine, turpentine, gertrude stein
Antonioni, bertolucci, kurosawa
Carmina burana
 
All
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav havel - the sex pistols, 8bc,
To no shame - never playing the fame game
 
Collins
To marijuana
 
All
To sodomy, 
It's between god and me
To s & m
 
Benny
Waiter...waiter...waiter
 
All
La vie boheme
 
Collins
In honor of the death of bohemia an impromptu salon will commence
Immediately following dinner 
Mimi marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn
Chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred
 
Roger
Mark cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an
Erection on high holy days
 
mark
Maureen johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the
Eleventh street lot, 
Will sing native american tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, 
While accompanying herself on the electric cello 
Which she has never studied
 
Benny
Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us?
 
Mimi
There's nothing to know
 
Benny
Don't you think that we should discuss-
 
Mimi
It was three months ago
 
Benny
He doesn't act like he's with you
 
Mimi
We're taking it slow
 
Benny
Where is he now?
 
Mimi
He's right - hmm
 
Benny
Uh huh
 
Mimi
Where'd he go?
 
Mark
Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song
That doesn't remind us of "musetta's waltz"
 
Collins
Angel dumott schunard will now model the latest fall fashions from paris 
While accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub
 
Angel
And collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist 
Including the successful reprogramming of the m.i.t. virtual reality equipment 
To self-destruct, as it broadcast the words:
 
All
"actual reality -- act up -- fight aids"
 
Benny
Check!
 
Mimi
Excuse me did i do something wrong?
I get invited then ignored all night long
 
Roger
I've been trying i'm not lying
No one's perfect i've got baggage
 
Mimi
Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine
 
Roger
I should tell, you-
 
Mimi
I've got baggage too
 
Roger
I should tell you 
 
Mimi
I got baggage, too
 
Roger
I should tell you 
 
Both
Baggage - wine 
 
Others
And beer!
 
mimi
Azt break
 
Roger
You?
 
Mimi
Me , you?
 
Roger
Mimi