How d'you do, i 
see you've met my 
faithful handyman. 
he's just a little brought down 
because when you knocked 
he thought you were the candy man. 
don't get strung out by the way i look. 
don't judge a book by its cover. 
i'm not much of a man by the light of day 
but by night i'm one hell of a lover. 
i'm just a sweet transvestite 
from transexual, transylvania. 
let me show you around 
maybe play you a sound. 
you look like you're both pretty groovy. 
or if you want something visual 
that's not too abysmal, 
we could take in an old steve reeves movie
i'm glad we caught you at home, 
could we use your phone? 
we're both in a bit of a hurry
right. 
we'll just say where we are, 
then go back to the car. 
we don't want to be any worry. 
well you got with a flat, well, how `bout that? 
well, babies, don't you panic. 
by the light of the night it'll all seem alright. 
i'll get you a satanic mechanic. 
i'm just a sweet transvestite 
from transexual, transylvania. 
why don't you stay for the night? (night) 
or maybe a bite? (bite) 
i could show you my favourite obsession. 
i've been making a man 
with blond hair and a tan 
and he's good for relieving my.......tension 
i'm just a sweet transvestite 
from transexual, transylvania. 
hit it, hit it! 
i'm just a sweet transvestite. (sweet transvestite) 
sweet transvestite 
from transexual, transylvania. 
So - come up to the lab, 
and see what's on the slab. 
i see you shiver with antici - (3 seconds) - pation. 
but maybe the rain 
isn't really to blame. 
so i'll remove the cause. (chuckles) 
but not the symptom.