Frank: 
how yaddoin, see
you've met my 
faithful handyman.
He's just a little brought down 
because when you knocked 
he thought you were the candy man. 
don't get strung out by the way i look. 
don't judge a book by its cover. 
i'm not much of a man by the light of day 
but by night i'm one hell of a lover. 
i'm just a sweet transvestite 
from transexual, transylvania.
 
let me show you around 
maybe play you a sound. 
you look like you're both pretty groovy. 
or if you want something visual 
that's not too abysmal, 
we could take in an old steve reeves movie. 
Brad: 
i'm glad we caught you at home, 
could we use your phone? 
we're both in a bit of a hurry. 
Janet: 
right. 
Brad: 
we'll just say where we are, 
then go back to the car. 
we don't want to be any worry. 
Frank: 
well you got with a flat, well, how `bout that? 
well, babies, don't you panic. 
by the light of the night it'll all seem alright. 
i'll get you a satanic mechanic. 
i'm just a sweet transvestite 
from transexual, transylvania.
Why don't you stay for the night? (night) 
or maybe a bite? (bite) 
i could show you my favourite obsession. 
i've been making a man 
with blond hair and a tan 
and he's good for relieving my... ...tension
I'm just a sweet transvestite 
from transexual, transylvania. 
hit it, hit it! 
i'm just a sweet transvestite. (sweet transvestite) 
sweet transvestite 
from transexual, transylvania. 
So - come up to the lab, 
and see what's on the slab. 
i see you shiver with antici - (pausa) - pation. 
but maybe the rain 
isn't really to blame. 
so i'll remove the cause... eh... ehehehehe 
but not the symptom.